OMG you guys WTF?
by DivergentVampireTributeWitch
Summary: Love triangles, man crushes, what more could there be? Wait... girl who likes him likes who say what?


Webbess here! Here is my story of all the romantic or friendly relationships in Twilight. Takes place during the fight in Breaking Dawn.

**I OWN NOTHING… *sigh***

**Edward's POV**

"I think she's perfectly fi-" Aro started about Renesmee

"YOU? Out of all people Demitri, thinks Alice, is hot?" (In New Moon the movie he tried to be sexy when saying "let's take this to a more appropriate venue" as he looked at Alice)

"I like Alice!" Alec started. (When Jane put Edward in pain Alec put his arms in front of Alice to keep her from going to help. Instead he COULD HAVE cut off her senses.. And Alice could've dropped her hands from Alec's arm but she didn't. Hmmmm)

"I thought you liked Jane." (He is trying to be sexy towards her by saying her name in New Moon.)

"Ewww!" Jane said.

"It was common to marry your brother/sister in 800 AD."

"Ugh I know. But Jane likes Felix." (IDK)

"And Felix likes Bella." (In New Moon the book apparently Felix said something about Bella and that made Edward riled up.) Bella fainted and Felix tried to go over to her to help.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" I yelled. He recoiled.

"No it's a good idea! Felix can have Bella, you can have no one, and I can date Renesmee." Nahuel said. (Let the record show Nahuel is fond of Renesmee)

"I beg to differ." Jacob said as Charlie, Sue, Billy, and Old Qui walked up.

"Oh you wanna fight wolfboy? Then bring it."

"Oh you don't wanna know what I brought."

(Heidi thinks this) "Edward who is the wolf closest to you?"(Edward replies with sign language)

"Well, I like Seth." Heidi lied.

"I'm dating Tanya!"

"No he's not." Tanya exclaimed then she turned quickly to Seth and gave him a slip of paper, "Call me in 5 years." Leah started laughing.

"Oh come on Leah, have a heart. I think its sweet!" Sam said, "I mean it's not that funny you still like me."

"NO! She likes Collin and Collin likes Leah." Paul said instantaneously following Sam's remark.

"Alright, to change the subject. Aro why do you want me to join you so badly?" I asked.

"Because I think you're cute." Aro said.

"Hey Alice? Like my hair?" Demitri asked.

"No it's hideous why?"

"Well, I've been trying to copy Jasper so you'll like me more!" she looked away in disgust. Leah continued to laugh.

"Wow Leah, I never knew you could be that feisty. I like it!" Amun said and she stopped giggling. Rosalie looked at me with odd eyes then saw she had been caught and looked away.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I think you're cute!" (If Rosalie didn't have a small thing for Edward she would be happy for him with his choice of liking Bella)

"I, oddly, agree." Emmett said. I can NEVER look at Emmett the same way again.

"I must admit I like Jane (Aro wants power but Jane and Alec's power don't really help him get it. So he must have a crush on Jane. And in New Moon the book he kissed her) and I have a man crush on Carlisle." Poor Esme fainted. Aro is one weird vampire. (He shows Carlisle a LOT of respect.)

"THIS is more entertaining than Nights of our Lives (parody of Days of Our Lives)." Billy said as he grabbed his soda a bag of popcorn hidden in his wheel chair. But on accident he threw the buttery and salty popcorn into Old Quil's eyes. Old Quil then pushed Billy through the crowd of angry creatures and into a ditch. Sue's mouth dropped open and Charlie now cared about his job. Demitri started to get closer to Alice but instead Jasper tensed up as well as Ciaus.

"Oh PLEASE don't tell me you have a crush on him." Aro pleaded.

"Alright I won't say a thing." (Ciaus seems like the type to like Demitri like Heidi.)

"You know guys? Why don't we all forget this ever happened and go home."? 15 year-old Maggie said when it was silent. Everyone just left leaving me and Charlie the only ones there.

(Charlie is thinking this then Edward answers he question aloud)

"WTF?"

"IDK!"

Jasper's POV

Demitri came out one last time and uttered the most pitiful words ever spoke to mankind.

"Call me Alice!" Alice looked at him, wrote on something then handed it to him.

"Here's my #. Call it anytime you wanna!" he smiled and froze in place.

"Alice?" I called, "What the Hale?"

"It was _Maria's_ phone number!" she giggled and walked on home.

Aro: Edward, Carlisle, Jane, and Sulpicia

Alec: Jane, and Alice

Jane: Felix

Felix: Bella

Nahuel: Renesmee

Jacob: Renesmee

Collin: Leah

Alice: Jasper and Alec

Rosalie: Emmett and Edward

Emmett: Rosalie and Edward

Seth: Tanya

Ciaus: Athenodora and Demitri

Demitri: Alice, Heidi would be his 2nd

Heidi: Demitri, and "Seth"

Amun: Kebi and Leah

Leah: Collin

And you know everyone else!


End file.
